The Last Decade
Well, today is the day. I am headed back, back, back to Cali, Cali, Cali…. OK, sorry had to do it!
I have spent the last decade of my life living in Prescott Arizona (all of my 30s in fact), and today, I am finally making the trek home to where I belong in California.
The last decade brought a lot of hardship to our family. Infidelity, addiction, bad parenting, horrible mistakes, loneliness, arguing, oh man the arguing, negativity, sadness, isolation, losing friends…and mostly losing myself.
All of it, I see now as a stepping stone that brought me to this exact moment in life. Lessons learned. Albeit the hard way, but a way that lets me know I’ll never allow myself to live it again.
Towards the end, it also brought goodness. God, true friendship, and a community of loving women in my life. Sobriety, thank you Jesus for my sobriety. Health, true overall wellness, mentally, emotionally, and physically. I literally lost the weight of the world when I lost that 75 pounds. That weight was a physical representation of all the hardships listed above. I found happiness, and am learning to love myself just as I am, mistakes and all. It’s brought positivity and some of the hardest yet best decisions of my life. The ability to show up as the best mom I possibly can. Not as in giving my kids the world, but by showing through my actions and deep conversation the lessons I learned. How to avoid them and what truly matters in life. Life is tough! But you show up every day, do your best and never ever make excuses for your circumstances. Only you are in charge of changing what you don’t like in life, and you had better fight hard against anything that brings you unhappiness.
I think the biggest thing I have truly learned is how to let go. Let go of the people, places, and things that are no longer good in your life. That it is ok to let go even when life didn’t turn out as planned. Because it’s not over yet. There is still so much more to do and see and experience.
So today, I am letting Prescott go. Releasing all that I expected and never received. Leaving all the hardships here where it belongs, not allowing them to follow me into my future. Wherever and whatever that may be.
XOXO
Peace out Prescott
